just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize