I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
