it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
