Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Pooping to opera.
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