That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i need some magic done to my vagina
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
