i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
