If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
