i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
