is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
