dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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