Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize