Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
