Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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