we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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