Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
