wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
