I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
