Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
