Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
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