i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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