Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
