Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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