like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
