Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
