He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
