I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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