tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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