A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
