I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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