i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Come on in and take your pants off
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