I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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