So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
