i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
