i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
