it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
