I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
