my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
