New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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