i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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