I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
