Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
