Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
