so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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