i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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