margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
