there's paper in my vomit.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
