Soap is not a condiment
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
