wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
