I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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