I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
