Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
