hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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