like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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