Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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