How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
