He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
