I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
